To Future Us

To The Future Us

Dear Future Us let’s not fight each other but rather with each other, back to back coming against anything that comes to tear Us down. Putting down our crowns to pick up the helmet of salvation, lets live in the revelations that Christ is at the center of our victory, in Him our failures are history. We have our shields of faith and His Word, we see clearly no lines blurred. Let Us walk in the strength of true love, and this love will never fail Us. This letter is to the future us, may we boast in the confidence we have in Jesus. My dear beloved, I pray we never go to sleep angry, and that we never be divided by bills and money, I pray that we push back on the sensors and trust each other with our honest feelings, I pray we say everything, and leave nothing uncandid. Running after our dreams until we land them. Dear future us, we can conquer anything through Love. And we can get through anything, Forgive Us; especially when we don’t remember to submit ourselves one to another, Forgive Us when we fail to cling to each other. Forgive Us when we don’t meet expectations and fall in between the unsaid of the “quotations”, failing to say just what we mean to say, so we don’t respond out of hurt feelings and disarray. Dear Future Us, lets always fight to respond in love instead, and never taking our troubles to bed, least we be tempted to deprive each other, but rather be overtaken with passion under the covers. Let’s make love in all kinds of ways, making poetry all times of day. Dear Future Us, this is our reminder to always choose each other even when we don’t like each other, mindful that we are more than just lovers, my friend, let nothing put an end, let no man put asunder the Future Us.

In the silence

These are the moments I need You most, when anxiety takes flight and fills the silence they leave me in to assume and I always assume the worst, I am a beautiful error, check marked with mascara I bat my lashes at these lashes,stike 3 and I’m out of here, my thoughts spiraling down in fear I try to cast my cares but my prayers become mute when the tornado strikes, I just need someone to step in, and say Peace be still.

Trusting God. ..my thoughts

Trust. …. the very thing I wrestle the most with. It’s almost a battle of nature vs nurture for me . Although I have no idea what is natural and what has been nurtured but I know I struggle with trust. I have seen God move so many times yet at the edge of my circumstances I find myself hyperventilating at the what if God won’t, rather than what if God can. I want to learn to trust regardless. Knowing if He is for me, and if His love truly pursues me, then regardless of the will or won’t, it will be for my good and His glory.

My Adam

What is a woman to do when she feels in the very etch of her design she was created to cover his heart. Her prayers built guards to do what she couldn’t do being so far apart . Finally understanding God’s love in that He loved us before we could ever love Him, I know I was called to love even the worst parts of him, rehearse even the frail thoughts within, until my prayers broke through to promise and banished the doubt within. I love not because of anything he could do but rather I saw the breathe of life God breathed in and called him good too. I have set my heart like a flint but my face like a stone, the bone of my bone,what else can I do but wait for you.

File, save as…

I comma feel lost in time , turning tables over like a DJ, unable to write unless I find something worth writing for or more so someone worth writing for, I keep scribbling outside the lines, hoping to find some creatively there, writing in all the margins, running on all the sentences, skipping past commas, question marks, and periods, period. I break the rule of engagement, my exclamation, at my own speechlessness I promise I won’t plead the 5th, but even in my right to remain silent, I fight it, got this keyboard, ink, and lead, just trying to write it. I need you, like the backspace, you undo me in the most beautiful way. File save as, All the Things I Haven’t Said Yet.

Love Beats

If this is what God meant for love to be than love really is good because God really is good because God is love so I guess what I’m trying to say is I want to be in God with you and even when we’re fussing and fighting I still want to say I love the God in you and when we’re cross let us be brought to the cross our hearts and hope to live in the gift of each other’s presence forever for what is forever without you, loving you makes all the impossible dreams come true, it’s true laying there listening to the thump thump, your beat is my favorite tune, and everyone knows I keep my jam on repeat; repeat, laying there listening to your thump thump, my favorite beat…it will always be the sound of your heart♡

Tall. Dark. & Handsome

Tall Dark and Handsome

And out of the dust God breathed life into and formed man,
this man I know had to be made in the image of God,
his skin so dark and lovely made of the finest soil.
Smile so bright he makes stars jealous
and I’m sure the night sky is in envy of him.
How not even the sun can scorch his beauty.
The fragrance of his being is overwhelmingly pleasant
and he is the perfect example of God’s love.
The day he took his first breath
I am sure God smiled and said this is good.
And he was good and perfect
and with every inhale and exhale
greatness grew tall dark and handsome.

The Journey to the well + (Reprise)

I was the woman at the well, well in a way I kept drawing from a well that left my dry eyes, leaving salted stained pillows for the next day . From the well of tricks I drew my shame to find the treats that could treat all these things that ails
my pain. I knew that this well ran deep and I knew that this would only keep me coming back for more, but of course what more could I do. It’s true, I had no husband but He knew the truth of those who I use to be married to, abandonment, shame, guilt, depression, and abuse. And the one I’m with now he is not my groom, but no more room in my belly to feed this need for approval . I knew this well, thought out well, planned out well, a rehearsed routine that had a need for an end. And no pretend it just so happened I had met a man who told me all about myself, he told me that the only water I need was found in Himself, that I no longer needed the water from this well , but I would find what I needed in Israel…Jerusalem , that I would be one who prevails no longer tricked into wrestling at this well. I would be free forever bound to the One who truly calls me His Queen, His beloved, His friend, that I would be holy and righteous, free from the shame of my sin. That I am worth dying for and yet worth living for, that I was already validated by Him who loved me more. So much more that He laid down His life over the puddles of my tears, then rose again to close the door on my fears. Such the gentleman He is, what more can I say He has captured my heart in a miraculous way.
Thank God for the journey to the well.

I was in the middle of almost becoming infiltrated by things I knew I was delivered from, I began to be so frustrated with myself was ready to rip off scabs to cry over, was ready to taste the deceitful fruit of depression was trying to write a piece about how I wished I could, thought I should, hoped I would defeat. …what I was already delivered from. But this time I sought after my garments of praise and I chose a veil of worship and not even realizing I was breaking the neck of the enemy, I overcame not only by the blood of the Lamb but truly by the word of my testimony. This is my testimony, this is my journey to the well.

My brother Justice

My Brother Justice!

Strange fruit no longer hanging from the poplar tree,
but now lying dead in the street,
no more white sheets,
it’s more likely the police,
but mission statement seems the same,
to serve and protect,
even if the cost is death,
but I don’t know how Brown got served, and Warren protected,
We are the neglected,
but Lady Liberty still won’t call social services,
I bet we do have the right to remain silent,
but it’s not quiet after shots fired.
Don’t shoot,
Death has gained a voice,
but I can’t breathe,
somebody please…..
Help me….
find my brother, Justice,
because it just is,
innocent until proven guilty only works for the privileged one, 
and I said, what hast thou done?
the voice of my brother’s blood crieth unto me from the ground,
and I am my brothers keeper
but they were my brother’s reaper,
Justice and Freedom were looking too suspicious,
and out of tradition,
they were given death instead of liberty,
but They can’t hear
forgive me liberty or give me death,
and the rest is literally history….
blowing its breath
as it will
and the stench is likely to kill,
choke hold  you down,
till there is not even sound,
and yes I bet he did have the right to remain silent!

Dedicated to all the men and women boys and girls whoes deaths  were never saw my brother Justice

Another online tale

Charm is deceitful and beauty is fading
so when he asked me if he was my type he had me hesitating,
debating
whether or not I should go into details about how  looks aren’t even the big factor
and even though he peeped that ,
he focused more on how mine did matter.
For hands that can’t even touch,
for bodies that can’t even clutch
he focused so much,
on my breast,
give it a rest,
How I wanted to scream
cause he was making me feel like I had to fit into this mold
just for him to get to know me,
ugh the insult
that the only way he could enjoy my mind
was based on my size,
men I tell you.
God I thank You
You are aren’t so concerned with dust like some do.
My mind is conflicted because I know my worth enough to just walk away
but the fact that I want him to come up a lil higher makes me want to hang around to explain .
his actions insult me to a point I’m not sure he understands,
leaving my image to be the foundation of what a conversation is worth
…man
… I’m still speechless